September 2, 2013 by BettyCupcakes
When you find a recipe that you’re dying to make, make sure to just skim it. Gloss over the ingredients, breeze through the directions, and totally skip any information on plating or serving. This will ensure that your final dish will go up in flames- maybe literally.
2.) Forget a Key Ingredient
Because you didn’t read the recipe, you’ll forget a key ingredient. Toasted Coconut Brownies don’t need butter. Irish Soda Bread needs baking soda? What?! Don’t worry about it. Improvisation can create some truly horrible food. Velveeta + eggplant, anyone? Yeah, it happened.
3.) Use the Wrong Equipment
Sour cream coffee cake calls for a bundt pan and you’ve only got a 6 inch round? No worries. As long as you’re stocked on oven cleaner, you’re all set.
4.) Rush, rush, rush!
Need that Berry Pie done in a hurry? Bake it at 450 instead of 350! Boil your Tortilla Soup– simmering is for sissies! Make sure you’ve got a hungry child screaming at you. This will not only improve your time management skills- you can also pretend your kid is Gordon Ramsey and you’re in your very own Hell’s Kitchen.
5.) Slap it on the plate, cafeteria-style
You eat with your eyes first. If you want to make sure your guests go home hungry, just slop your food on the plate Jackson Pollock-style. Plating is for pretentious people.
Disclaimer: Obviously, this is a WHAT NOT TO DO article. You’ve been warned- following these tips will yield disastrous results. Not that I would know.
What kitchen mistakes will you confess to?